Humility is on Life Support

*Disclaimer – This post is meant to cause a pause — and get people to think. It is not political. If you get infuriated, you need to read it again and reflect on the last sentence.

It seems that society has become like a bunch of misbehaved children with no parent to correct them, put them in a time-out, or to give them an old fashioned spank to wake them up. Society has removed the people that can speak into their lives and encourage correction. If your Pastor or Priest tells you where you have missed the mark, you immediately think the Pastor or Priest is the problem and justify it by recalling their errors in their life. If a boss does not give you a favorable performance review, in your eyes the boss is automatically incapable of doing their job.

You may know one or more of the people that are saying things out loud or posting derogatory phrases, put-downs, or the like somewhere for the world to see. They could be part of the problem. Calling people names creates a bigger divide and reveals an enormous ego that is not easily quenched. Calling the President or President Elect an idiot (or orange or a dementia patient, etc.), is really just an exercise to artificially inflate personal intelligence; and it is ugly for all to see. The problem is, they have systematically unfriended, deleted, and/or disassociated themselves with anyone who thinks differently than themselves and certainly anyone who disagrees with them. In their bubble they seem to be right. After all, their news channel, their friends and associates and social media feed all serve up the things they believe — so it must be true.

Even in the church. And it should be the church that shines a Light. Not a flashlight on their favorite candidate or civic movement. We are called to reflect Jesus only. I have painfully watched church-going Christians post on social media (until their fingers must have hurt) who is right, who is wrong, and who God wants in the White House. And I might add it didn’t seem to be done in love. In the Bible, the book of Second Kings is full of righteous kings and more so full of wicked kings. And in the same Bible, the Apostle Paul teaches us that the leadership over mankind is God’s doing (Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God). The Apostle Peter exhorted us “honor the king” with a small k. Meaning honor those who are in authority over us (Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the king.) Simply put; Submit to Trump even if we do not agree with him. Submit to Biden even if we do not agree with him. Submit to the police even if we do not agree with them. Submit to parents, pastors, priests, bosses – anyone who has authority over us: not just the ones that tickle our fancy.

Sometimes the people that name-call and wag their finger, have never really accomplished anything in life. Some that have accomplished something in life, truthfully believe they are superior. I can hear it now – “I am superior” some will say. That is because they have not really given themselves an accurate self-appraisal.

Until we as human beings learn that we should not think too highly of ourselves and consider others more than ourselves, our society will continue to decline. Most people are too concerned with being “right”, that they are willing to die on that hill at all costs. They simply compare other’s weaknesses to their strengths. When they look at their own weaknesses, they are full of excuses and justifications. Many times false excuses and false justifications. Some argue those in power are narcissistic as they themselves post on social media and run back to their post to see who has liked it. The old saying it takes one to know one still rings true.

In 2020 I did a lot of listening an very little talking or writing. It was a time of self-reflection. Here is what I found; I do not know everything: I am not the most important person in the world (even though I might think so:) My opinion is just that – opinion. Keep your opinion to yourself is still good advice: When your mouth is open it is possible your brain is on parade: What I think in regards to hot topics doesn’t matter to everyone else: I need to listen more: I need to love much more: I need to forgive more: I need to understand more: It is likely no one will change their mind by hearing an opposite view screamed at them. As Dale Carnegie stated “ A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still:” I need to connect better and look to understand others more.

I do not have it all figured out. My hope is that some will pause and consider the principles. Circumstances are many; principals are few. Circumstances always change but principals never do. I am confident that if we look to change ourselves first, we will see we are flawed (maybe more than those we think need to change.) This self-assessment should shine light on how far we have drifted and drive us to have more compassion, grace and love to others – not hate, discord, & judgement.

The Power of Thankfulness

Being thankful can be one of the most rewarding things you will ever do. It may be hard to get started, but once you do get started and it becomes a part of your daily life, you will find that for the most part you will have a new outlook on life. You see, when we are truly thankful for something, we are instinctively placing value on the very thing we are being thankful for; which allows that very thing to become more important to us. And it is hard to be disappointed in something we value. Thankfulness also shows our maker that we can see a blessing, even in the midst of problems and concerns.

When I wake up, I am thankful to start a brand new day that no one has ever lived in before; in the entire history of mankind. It is something liken to a blank canvass, that has never been painted on, no matter what yesterday’s canvass looked like. I am not necessarily a morning person, but because I wake up thankful, I become optimistic for what the day will bring. One benefit is that I am starting the day with a greater outlook than most, all because my outlook matches my gratitude.

As I was leaving work the other night, I could smell garlic from a restaurant across the street from where I work. It smelled amazing! I instantly found myself hungry and thanking God that I could smell this amazing aroma.

When I see the sunrise in the morning I am thankful that God is faithful and on-time every day! Even when it is raining and I cannot see the sunrise, I am reminded that it is still faithfully there each day — even though the storm is in the way. The storm does not mean the sun is absent: it just means that I cannot see the sun visually.

It is hard to complain about your country when you are thankful for the freedoms and opportunity it provides. It is easy to have gratitude in seemingly mundane situations, when we come to the realization that it can always be worse. It just takes a conscience decision to do so.

My daughter took time to smell the roses and took this lovely picture of a butterfly on a beautiful flower. I was thankful for her eye and thankful that we still have people in this world who are willing to put the selfies away and focus on something that adds value to their life.

Do you want to see your boss/pastor/priest/spouse/children/neighbor/job/house/career/town/country in a different light? Are you interested in how to feel differently about these specific things? Are you wondering how you can draw closer to God? How can you get through another day? It might not be easy but it sure is simple; BE THANKFUL.

In order to be thankful, we MUST take our eyes off of ourselves and put them on the very things we are thankful for. And this is the hardest part as we are naturally self-centered. For without the little things that add value to our life that we should be thankful for, we can become pitiful and poor in attitude and spirit. But because of them, we can become more at peace and richer, far more rich than silver and gold can provide.

Actions Have Consequences

Hit your thumb with the hammer, and it will surely hurt. Eat well and exercise, and you are likely to be healthy. Cheat on your taxes, and you will likely be prosecuted. Sir Isaac Newton stated; “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Being in the automotive business, I hear thing like “it wasn’t meant to be . . .” or “the interest rate is not fair” or “I expect top dollar for my (beat up) trade-in.” The truth is, actions, words, and decisions have consequences.

The person who thinks that they can wait to make a decision to buy something, whether a vehicle or a roll of toilet paper: and then due to their inaction the item gets sold to someone else, then states “it wasn’t meant to be”–  is flat out wrong. Their decision to wait caused the desired item to still be available for others to buy. Their indecision is the reason that they did not get the opportunity, and this indecision has nothing to do with — “meant to be.”

The person who is irresponsible financially with high credit card balances and late payments, and spending more than they make is directly responsible for their credit score and the interest rate that a bank will extend. This rate is completely fair considering the individual has proven to possibly default on payments, overextend themselves financially, and overall not be a good steward of their personal finances. The bank is required by law to treat the customer fairly based on their personal credit history, which is direct reflection of either good decisions or bad decisions from the consumer, not the bank.

When a person does not take care of their current vehicle (physical body, home, or otherwise) and allows it to be damaged, smoked in, windshield cracked, rims scuffed, maintenance neglected, excessive miles, and worth MUCH less than they owe because they rolled negative equity from a previous bad decision, their actions create the value of the car, not the person presenting the information.

We have become very comfortable not taking personal responsibility for much of anything in our current society. Personal responsibility breeds good decisions and good decisions will ultimately give birth to good results. Conversely, neglecting personal responsibility breeds poor decisions and poor decisions give birth to poor results. Actions have consequences and the only one to blame is the one looking back at us in the mirror.

Forged in the Fire

The same metal that is forged into a tool, can also be forged into a weapon, or a bowl, or a hammer. Without the fire, there is no possibility of reshaping the hunk of metal into the desired result. Men & women, are also shaped in the “fire” of life. There is no way around it and no possible substitute.

The success we enjoy, is a direct result of the challenges that we have gone through in life and likely persevered; due to a deep rooted commitment and resolve. Likewise, the failures in our life are usually the lack of a deep rooted commitment to succeed and ultimately an unwillingness to go through “the fire”. Why? Because it hurts, and too many people don’t like it when it it hurts.

Commitment and involvement are two totally different things. It has been said that you can clearly see the difference between commitment and involvement on a bacon and eggs breakfast platter — The chicken was involved but the pig was committed.

Everyone wants to lose weight, but few are committed. Most people want a strong marriage, but it is only the ones who are committed to see it through, that endure for decades. Some want to have a successful career, but many are simply not willing to sacrifice to the extent that is needed to rise in the ranks. Religious people want to stand strong but seemingly fade away when persecution arises.

Spoiler alert: the sacrifice, pain, sleepless nights, disappointment, tears, set backs, persecution, and more, will always hurt and always be harder than we could ever imagine. But in the midst of these battles, our character is built. Most importantly, after the battle has been fought, the victory is sweet: and nothing can take the place of the feeling you get when you have overcome adversity due to your resolve and commitment to to your core beliefs. Some of the battles we lose BUT we do not quit. Instead we learn and this helps us immensely in winning our next battle.

So, make a decision to stand your ground and to be all-in in your commitment. When you do, some will call you “lucky” or “blessed”. Truth be told it will be because you were forged in the fire.

All Play and No Work . . .

Okay, let’s face it; the first day back at the office after a nice relaxing vacation can be very challenging. After all, while we were on vacation, we would have taken some time to unwind and refresh and probably slept in and overall we would not have exerted ourselves. Then, the first Monday back to work seems surreal. We are expected to go from a leisurely stroll to a full sprint.

COVID-19 has changed many things but probably the most important thing to notice is our pace at the office. For those of us working in a variable pay environment, we have been forced into a leisurely stroll. Those of us that were not furloughed have had reduced hours, reduced traffic, reduced tasks to be completed and an overall reduction in job related stress. The real danger is settling in and getting used to the results that we are now producing in the slowdown.

Most economists will agree that April was the low point in this economic stand still. Most believe that May will mirror March, and June and July will have a sharp increase, however, even with a sharp increase in June and July, we will be in a recession environment. Not all people furloughed will be asked back to their positions, not all businesses will open back up, and the reality of a long recovery is at hand.

With this said, it is vitally important not to become complacent with reduced hours and production. We live in a capitalistic society that rewards bigger results based on our efforts. It is important to set bigger goals for May than you think are possible and plan for an even bigger June. Do not get lulled to sleep by the March/April business climate. It will only be the new norm if you choose it to be. If you choose it to be, you will be left behind. In fact, for those of us still working, we have people who are depending on us to grow our business back to a resemblance of where it was when they left — and in a short amount of time, so that they can get back to work.

So look back on March and April with gratitude to have been able to hit the pause button in life, which afforded you to be able to smell the roses. But it is now May and we have work to do. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Conversely, all play and no work makes Jack an undisciplined, unproductive member of society. Set your sights high for May and beyond. Reach higher; work harder; FOCUS; stretch; and grow. Learn to have a balance of smelling the roses and being more productive with your time when you are back to work.

Cake, Less Eggs, Ain’t Cake

You have to excuse the grammar; I heard this saying once and it jumped out at me. Building a team in business is like making a cake . . . so to speak. Just the right ingredients mixed just the right way will produce an outstanding cake.

I recently have been interviewing for an open management position I have available, and all of the candidates are good at some things but not good at all things. Some have 20 years worth of experience but their overall automotive IQ doesn’t support it. Others have only a year of experience but have quickly seasoned and have a very high automotive IQ.

Picking the right person for the position can be a challenge as it relates to overall  experience. However, I feel it is even more important is how they fit in with the overall recipe of the store’s culture. Think about it; when you make a cake, you have eggs, flour, sugar, flavoring, butter, and salt. If you put too many eggs in, or not enough sugar, or only use a bowl of flour alone, it will be a cake to forget — if a cake at all. Eggs in and of themselves are not bad at all. But a bowl full of eggs alone will never get you the end result you are looking for, if the end result is a tasty cake.

When I interview, I am asking myself if the candidate will compliment the overall feel (or recipe) of the existing team. I wonder if they will be what we are looking for as we move into the future. I wonder if they will challenge and nudge the team members to be better or will they be argumentative and hostile in general. I am probing to see if I actually like the person, as in, are they kind/well groomed/well spoken/professional/humble/confident. It is even more vital that my existing management team will be assisted to even greater heights by the new hire and not fall into discouragement or worse; discontentment with their position based on the new recruit. It is not always about how many mountains you have moved on your resume or how many awards you have collected. It is also important that the fit is right interpersonally, because when putting a recipe together; cake, less eggs, ain’t cake.

When Discouragement & Disaster Collide

It is bound to happen sooner or later. That is, unless you live in a bubble. There is no such thing as perfection all day, every day. Eventually, the good times pass and disaster strikes in some shape or form. It may come in the form of relationships that have soured. It could come in the form of not getting the promotion, not making the team, or not being included in social situations. It sometimes is related to our health or our finances. Whatever the reason that discouragement comes on so strong, there is a way out; even though we feel it may actually be a disaster.

The first step is to expect it. Just as the daylight comes to end each night and the streak of sunny days is broken by the rain, so shall our smooth sailing be interrupted by a “storm”.

When the discouragement is deep and the disaster grand, the first thing we can do to remedy our situation is to remember that this too shall pass. Good times are not permanent and bad times just the same are only temporary. Even if it feels like a hundred years: it is not.

The next thing is to remember how we felt in the good times. If we can remember how living the “mountaintop” life was fulfilling, then we can have hope to get back there again after climbing our way out of the “valley.” This also gives us strength to get through our current circumstance because we remember just how good it felt to have things going well for us.

Lastly, if we will accept the fact that disappointment and disaster have a way of teaching us, growing us, and making us wiser, then we become open to the bitterness of bad circumstances to be our teacher and ultimately making us greater.

So, the next time discouragement and disaster collide; remember to expect it coming, that it is only temporary, and to learn from the experience.

The Dirty Irish Towns (Make America Clean Again)?

Now that I have your attention; there is nothing further from the truth. After spending a week traveling throughout Ireland, I can’t help myself from continually thinking about a single point. The point is this; there was no trash, or litter, or garbage of any kind — anywhere! Ireland has to be one of the cleanest places on earth. Why? Because the people of Ireland care and take responsibility for their own actions. They do not throw their trash out the window or on the ground assuming “someone else” will take care of it. No, they take responsibility for their own trash and take pride in their land.

Driving on country roads or major highways, you could not spot any litter. Walking the streets of Dublin; same thing — clean. Walking the beach on the Celtic sea, there were plenty of shells and rocks, but no bottles, plastic, fast food bags, etc. Walking through the crowded streets of Galway — spotless.

The point is, when will we as Americans take pride in our country? When will we take ownership of our own trash and actually stoop down to pick up someone else’s forgotten litter? I long for a day where our country is clean and well taken care of — not by the government, the neighbor, the teacher, or someone else — but by each of us the people. Let’s get it together Americans. Make America Clean Again!

When Your Head Sticks Above the Crowd

My colleague was asked by one of his employees, “what do I have to do to get a raise?” This is a very interesting question in general. The mentality that is needed to get ahead at work, in a marriage, in a relationship, financially, spiritually, and more, is — whatever it takes. It is not a simple: do x and y and a raise will follow. It is having a commitment to excellence all day; every day. As it relates to a career, some people seem to need a roadmap, and sometimes they actually want a promotion before they are willing to do more. How can the boss promote someone who has not shown they are capable of operating at the next level? I believe a boss, a manager, partner, share-holder, etc. need to see consistency. Once consistent effort is shown and results are created, it is impossible for someone not to notice and offer you a promotion, or a raise. If you work on commission, your raise will be the additional income you create by doing the right things.

My advice is this; whatever endeavor you are looking to get ahead in, put your head down and work hard. Study your craft, your product, and your competition. Spend time Practicing the things you will need to perform. Desire to grow & learn. And most importantly — don’t stop. A dog is conditioned to performing a trick and then being rewarded. In life, we are not dogs. There is no reward after doing one thing. We must do many things over and over and over again. If there is seemingly no reward; find a way to do it better and do it over and over and over again. Eventually, your head will stick above the crowd and you will be noticed. Just remember it is never a one and done event. It is a life-time commitment to being the best you can be.

Osmosis. It’s an Epidemic.

It has been told that most people learn in one of three ways. First, people learn visually. They need to see it. You can talk to them all day long but if they can’t see something, they are likely to retain nothing. Next, are kinesthetic learners. These are the “feel it, touch it” people (and the highest percentage of people learn this way). Lastly, are auditory learners. You guessed it; they learn from hearing. Auditory learners are only 25% of the population. Coincidently, the other 75% miss the instruction when they are being told what to do.

Many mangers and even some leaders “tell” people what to do and how to do it. Then they become frustrated that the very people they are “telling” over and over, are not learning what they are telling them. Some of their telling often includes specific instructions on how to “do” something. Somehow the managers and leaders feel that if they tell them enough, they will most likely get it. Most likely not.

Attention Managers and leaders–Effective managers and leaders teach the way their people learn. I would venture to say that if only 25% of the people learn by hearing, then we need to begin to teach differently than just lecturing. Show them. Show them what is expected and then ask them to repeat it back. If there is a task involved, ask them to perform the task the way you expect them to perform it. I guarantee that they will not perform it the way you want it done the first time. That will be the indicator for you to continue to work with them until they get it right. Considering most people learn by doing, you will need to make them “do” until you are satisfied that they will bear the result that you desire.

If you are speaking to a few people (or to thousands) with information only, PowerPoint works great because it covers the visual learner, the auditory learners for sure. But if you are in need for people to “do” something, you will need to roll up your sleeves and spend time with each person “doing”. By doing so, you will increase your team’s productivity and they will have more respect for you as a leader or manager. In todays business world, you won’t have much competition. After all, osmosis is an epidemic these days, as leaders and managers only seem to talk, and talk, and talk some more.